Are you dating a drama addict? Check the list below.
If you are dating a drama addict, you may find these patterns familiar:
- There is always a push-and-pull game
- You never feel safe and secure with them, the relationship feels like an emotional roller coaster
- You feel like walking on eggshells and you are in a constant state of anxiety
- You often suspect they are cheating on you
- They lie (even to themselves)
- They have difficulty maintaining relationships, and their relationships are always shallow
- They become bored very easily
- They are attention seekers and extremely emotionally expressive
Did you find your partner or someone you dated in the list above? If you did, you may be dealing with a drama addict.
Let’s dive into it a bit more.
1. There is always a push-and-pull game
In a secure relationship, there is peace, harmony, compassion, and love. But drama addicts are not familiar with it. They always seek attention, and playing the push-pull game helps them create this kind of dynamic. Not always the attention that they might wish for but then again, there is always drama. Playing push-and-pull creates drama and excitement, even if it’s negative — it’s still drama.
2. You never feel safe and secure with them
Because of the push-and-pull game, you never feel secure. They are unpredictable, even if you are stable and try to communicate the problem, they refuse to engage. They will act cold, argue, or ghost you. Whatever you do to create a safe dynamic, you will never succeed.
Remember, their safe is not the same as yours safe. Peace and harmony are unfamiliar to drama addicts, and they feel the most secure in creating drama.
If you offer them peace and comfort, they will run away, it’s unfamiliar to them and they are scared of it.
3. You feel like you are walking on eggshells
When you are with them, you watch your words, how you behave, and how you interact. You choose words carefully even over things that are barely worth a discussion. You are always afraid you will hurt their feelings and piss them off. So you feel it’s better to stay quiet and suppress your feelings not to cause a fight.
4. You often suspect they are cheating on you
You never feel like you are the only one, and you are afraid they are cheating on you. You find yourself stalking them on social media and watching every step they make.
You are suspicious of people around them and you have a feeling something is happening between them and the other person.
5. They constantly lie
To keep the dynamic, most drama addicts lie. They are not good at processing emotions. They know deep down they have a problem and are not capable of being in a stable relationship. They protect themselves by lying.
Again, when you try to communicate, they tend to say whatever it takes to end an uncomfortable conversation, or they just run away.
6. They have difficulty maintaining relationships
When they try to form a relationship with someone stable, they’re not able to enjoy it and they seek drama. Their relationships are always shallow and they constantly change partners.
They are addicted to the honeymoon stage because that’s where the excitement is.
7. They become bored easily
They are bored very easily, so when the honeymoon stage is over and there is no more excitement, they may get bored and look for another partner or cause another drama. This circle never ends.
8. They are attention seekers
Drama addicts aim to remain the center of attention — whether that attention is positive or negative, and their emotions are displayed in a dramatic, exaggerated, or theatrical fashion. They can’t stand if they are not the center of attention, and they will do everything to regain power, even unconsciously. Most often, they will cause drama or act dramatic, bursting into rage or tears.
I want to emphasize that my intention here is not to blame people addicted to drama. I am aware that deep down it doesn’t feel good to themselves either. I just want to emphasize the problem it’s causing in forming stable and secure relationships, and encourage people to work on it.
If you find your partner in the list above, I want you to communicate it. Be open and talk about your feelings. Don’t judge your partner, pause, take a deep breath, and try to talk about your feelings. Be compassionate, but remember to keep your boundaries.
And don’t blame them, instead, go with an ‘I feel…’ statement. It helps minimize defensiveness and conflict in conversations. I know that it’s challenging not to get angry, especially with drama addicts, but you need to speak up for yourself, and the best way to do it is to encourage your partner to understand the problem.
If you talk to them, and you still feel that there is no understanding and improvement, you may probably need to think about ending a relationship. In the end, it’s not a safe environment and it causes a lot of stress and anxiety. I need you to take care of your mental health. And if you can’t do it alone, try talking to a therapist.